I'M SORRY TODD BUT I CANNOT YET. I NEED TO SAVE MY MONEY!
Sorry dude! I already slept through Friday. It's a terrible shame but maybe another time, Todd
I am alive.
I am a man.
I am the OLDEST man alive.
I have BEEN alive, forever.
I sit atop my mountain stronghold, and I look down at the other men at my feet and I laugh.
I laugh at YOU.
You! The lesser men.
You! Whose lives flicker by me like a cloud of gnats.
You are born and you die as I open and close my eyes to blink.
I watched as my slaves built for me the Pyramids.
I spoke the words as they were carved onto the Rosetta Stone.
I watched as Rome burned, as Pompeii was crushed, and as the Twin Towers fell.
I have always been. And I will always be.
You may see though you will not know me.
You may see at the club,
You may see me on the streets,
You will be DAZZLED by my golden chains,
By my spinning wheels,
By my shining new clothes.
I have the biggest hat in the world!
It's got a million diamonds hanging from its brim,
It's been dyed a colour that no painter has ever been able to mix,
And it could shade all the starving children in the world at the same time.