How to cope with a break up?

I've been trying to cope with a break up with someone I've dated for 4 years. It is hard taking each day one foot in front of another. Long story short she is untreated bipolar 1 and her personality went completely 180 one night and a little over a month later here I am. What ideas do yall have for coping for heartbreaks and break-ups? I'm using whatever I can do to get any form of help. Hope I don't sound like a cry-baby, but I've had enough gf's to count with 1 hand so I'm not used to dealing with break-ups

The biggest thing is to just keep occupied. If you just sit and dwell, it will fester. Now is your time, you're a free man. Don't forget what you have learned, but don't let the past rule your present and future. Be with friends, family, start a new hobby, focus on a hobby that you didn't have the time for before, and most importantly, focus on self improvement. I got out of a 6 1/2 year long relationship a few years back, so I more than understand. I, however, sat, dwelled and allowed it to fester for a while...bad mojo, my friend. I've since moved on, grew up in many ways, had two relationships since (I have a good feeling about the one I'm in now *crossing fingers*,but only time will tell.), but I have not forgotten the lessons I learned and I'm well over that relationship (and the one after that...meh). It feels like shit now, but it will only improve if you want it to.

I think yaass has it down pretty good. Keep yourself occupied. Spend time with other friends and family, do the things you love to do, focus on yourself and self improvement. The worst thing you can do is spend your free downtime lounging around and feeling sorry for yourself. Like any sort of rough life even, it will take time to get over it. 4 years is a long time, but as mentioned above, take the lessons learned and use them to make your next potental relationship all the better.

Yaasshat and Cecil are definitely on the right track. It's really hard. I've been there myself and it's something that can linger for a long time. It'll come and go too. But whenever you feel yourself regressing, just take a few long deep breaths until you feel more at ease and try and keep yourself productive. Work on things that make you happy and spend time with friends. If it helps you, try and find someone to talk to about it occasionally and try and let out some of what's festering. But just remember to breathe deep and keep pressing on afterwards. Everything will be alright.

@OP: There's no easy answer for this. Although Cecil and Yaashat are on the right track, keeping oneself occupied is oversimplified of an answer. I'm going through a similar situation myself and I could only share with you what's working for me. Keep in mind that people will have different ways of coping. In my case, I chose to be open about my emotions rather than suppress it. I sought support wherever I could from friends and family. If you absolutely need to, there's no shame in seeking professional help. I knew that I'd be tempted to do impulsive things (i.e. calling the ex, suicide, etc.), so I made arrangements with close friends that I would call them before I would do it. I found it comforting that they assured me that they would make time to talk to me and kick my ass. I took on a new hobby to get out of my comfort zone. For me, dancing is a way to learn to let go, be in the moment, and connect with people. I also kept a routine and did my old hobbies. When I felt that I needed a break, I would make time for it and push myself back into a routine. I keep a journal that I write almost nightly to keep track of my progress. Whatever I wrote didn't have to be about the break up. It was about my thoughts at that moment. When I look back at my entries every couple of weeks, I choose my direction from there. Forgive the other person. Then, forgive yourself for judging the her for whatever she did. I found myself doing that multiple times. So far, this is helping me move towards acceptance The most important thing that I've learned so far is to finding a way to direct my focus towards a resourceful path. Depending on how bad things ended, going through a break up is damn confusing place and it's easy to get caught up in emotion. It happens. In my mourning, I directed my focus on the loss of the relationship rather than not being with the person, which helped me redirect my focus towards being a better man for the next woman and my life's mission. Yeah, all the help we could offer you on this thread is easier said than done. Whatever happens, you'll be alright and find your way of kicking ass. Ultimately, you can only make yourself happy and create the future that you want

Thanks guys. I'll keep all that in mind as I go day by day. Mornings and evenings are the worst. Since the breakup is still pretty new, I'll wake up and she will be on my mind and I'll feel depressed and that "please don't go" kind of feeling in my chest. And at night she will start looping through my mind like a broken record and I have trouble getting to sleep. Im getting a little better about not thinking about it as much but it is still really hard and will take some time getting used to

Set yourself a "to-do"-list for every day... if you really have it that hard.. literally plan out 90% of your day.. and the rest would be to take breaks. It keeps you from thinking about it and concentrate on other things. A couple weeks later you'll most likely be over it. Pick up a new hobby or take on a neglected one. There's so much more in life than being in a relationship. Your friends, your family, the beautiful world itself and everything humans created (be it good or bad). As yaass said.. don't shut yourself in and for the love of God don't get nostalgic over the "good" memories. That'll do shit for you.

BPEGS. The higher the number of BPEGS goes, the easier it is to get over a girl. On a more serious note though, a common thing I find in people who recently broke up is the fact that they only look at the good side. The other half is still perfect in their mind and they are completely ignoring the flaws which you accepted during your time together. The sooner you stop idolizing your significant other, the sooner you can move on. Give yourself time. You probably hear this one too often. It's become a cliche to hear that time heals. But the truth is: time isn't a magical spell that solves the problem. It doesn't solve anything. But it's at the core of how we deal with our emotions simply because it's the only thing that's always in motion in our lives and we have no influence over it. Think of time as a foundation on which you can build the rest of your journey to improvement. Don't expect to get over it soon. I think it's hilarious that we live in a society where speed is very important (for some reason). "How to lose weight in 10 days", "How to learn Japanese in 2 weeks", "5 steps to find your soulmate tomorrow!". No, just... no. Cutting corners and taking shortcuts is NOT a solid way to build anything. If you don't have time for yourself, then you shouldn't do it at all. Channel your excess energy into creative and/or practical activities. On a quick glance, I see you have a son and you work as an EMT. That's enough motivation to keep you going.

1. Get distracted 2. Dont mention the name 3. Delete all the contacts you have of your ex (means you should not talk to them EVER) 4. Focus on yourself 5. Always think he/she is not the only person that you can be with... Well there are a lot of fishes in the sea It will be hard but if you're really willing to move on or cope up after a break up you gotta help yourself too... Lol I sounded bitter xD