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Is that right?

metaljester
Oct 24, 15 at 8:38am
Hello everybody, I have yet again some questions. What do you define as right and wrong? Then following that answer me this if you want. A person who had no ties to their family due to bad childhood and parenting given by the parents chooses to not go to a funeral for one of them. Is that person wrong for this?
yaasshat
Oct 24, 15 at 9:42am
Right and wrong morally speaking? That's all societal, my friend. As for the story you've proposed, my dad didn't go to his dad's funeral. But, I suppose growing up with an abusive, womanizing alcoholic, who tried to rape one of his sisters, might lead to some animosity. Hell, I never met the man and as far as I could tell, my dad never showed a sign of sadness at the loss of his dad. Was it right? Debatable. Do I understand my dad's stance? Most certainly.
oxshykittenxo
You're not obligated to attend a funeral just because of blood relation, especially if there was abusive/neglect growing up. Being blood related doesn't justify the abusive being forgiven and expecting forgiveness while using death as an excuse is selfish. You have to live with the trauma, they don't. Lol.
metaljester
Oct 24, 15 at 10:29am
I appreciate the feedback from both of you, the black and white must be seen as grey afterall.
xypho
Oct 24, 15 at 10:36am
This account has been suspended.
metaljester
Oct 24, 15 at 10:57am
Indeed among other things. Thanks for the feedback.
neet_one
Oct 24, 15 at 3:16pm
Not wrong at all, clearly that person doesn't owe them anything. I'm being 100% honest here when I say if my dad has an open casket funeral I'd go just to spit in his face, maybe more.
chocopyro
Oct 24, 15 at 3:57pm
I remember my grandmother saying shortly before passing away "Funerals are a barbaric practice, mean to force grieving upon your loved ones." And despite societal norms, I actually agree with her on that. So there's really no shame in opting not to subject yourself to the experience. From a spiritual perspective, as long as you honor the dead in your own way, even if they left you nothing but scars, I think that's enough. From scars, wisdom is attained after all. (Unless you absolutely refuse to heal from them, then they become a crutch for all kinds of psychological problems.) The only real universal "wrong" in modern perspective would be to dance on the grave during or after the funeral to spite the deceased. But then again, I'm sure there are places in the world where that is actually considered a normal way to honor loved ones.
elder_reaper
So wait, Jesse, did a parent of yours die? I know you didn't have anything close with your parents - so no, don't feel bad for it. Egg and sperm donor.
lordelricsama
They are still that persons parents, even if you didn't have the greatest experience. That not knowing that person life is going now. They still did let you live on this planet. In the end, going to the funeral is the person decision. So my answer if its, "wrong" is nay.
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