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Discussion on Getting Over a Relationship

kuroshiro_2573
For some of us, we have been in a bad relationship, and even have a strong emotional connection to it, like a leash you didn't realize was on and is almost completely torn. I myself am in this situation, so I am starting this forum for us all to discuss ways to get past that emotional connection so that we may finally move on.
realmikuhatsune
Become dissociative to disconnect from all feelings and you will no longer feel attachment to any previous relationships. Or anything, for that matter. Just kidding! Don't do that. Unhealthy....... On a serious note, there's no magic cure for getting over anything that meant a lot to you. The best thing you can do is force yourself to focus on the things that make you happy until it becomes second nature. You need to build yourself back up, but these things aren't done over night. Talk to your friends, or a therapist if need be and you are able to. Draw, write, sing, anything to let out those feelings. The worst thing you can do is hold it all in, so remember that and you should be fine! The most important thing of all is to love yourself, but that's probably the most difficult to achieve. Start small, push yourself at a pace you are comfortable with, and continue to grow! Finally, you will never truly be over a thing. So it's okay to let go and cry sometimes. You're allowed to feel bad, even when you've done your best to move past that.
shinu
As someone who broke that leash after quite a long time... I don't really have any good advice for you. You need to realize that if you can't make something work now, then you'll never be able to make it work in the future. Distance yourself from that person, and understand that neither of you are making your lives better by associating with each other, and having your time to yourself will really let you find your own path, and let you move on. And it's okay to be a broken mess until you're... not. When you feel broken, there's no glue, there's no remedy. You just eventually stop being broken, and you start becoming okay, and eventually you can look for happiness again.
kuroshiro_2573
In my situation, it is hard to make that distance, I have to walk past my ex on weekdays just because we go to the same school. For my situation, I need tips for how to get over it without having to avoid interaction. Those tips may help for other people though.
realmikuhatsune
The good news is high school isn't forever and you're more than likely not going to talk to a lot of people you once knew! The bad news is, that's a depressing thought and I'm sorry to lay down that harshness. But honestly? It gets better. School is just awful, anyway. I hope you get advice that suits you better!
kuroshiro_2573
True, but school of all levels serve a purpose, one that I am willing to go through an extra year of HS and four years of college for, knowledge. After this year though, I hope to see some good change for me though, since next year for me will literally be mostly electives with exception of three classes that I will only have for one semester each. As for tips for myself, I only see two ways of getting past my issue. 1: I finally go separate paths from my ex, or 2: I get into a better relationship, or both. Both is more likely, but it is because of option 2 that I am here.
shinu
Just don't recognize her existence in passing. Don't look her way. Don't speak to her. Don't bring her up to your friends. However, don't ignore her if she comes up to you. The point is to get yourself to think of her as a stranger, and you don't ignore strangers when they come up to talk to you. However however, if she asks you for something, just tell her that you're not interested and that you're done with the conversation. It might sound cold, but you pass by countless strangers every day and you're not criticized for being cold then. Sometimes your brain needs to lead your heart. Your heart will catch up eventually, just as long as you pick it up off the ground.
kuroshiro_2573
It isn't nearly that easy for me, my eyes tend to wander, so even if I wasn't intentionally doing it, she would end up catching my eye somehow. Beyond that, it isn't like she is going to talk to me considering that she is avoiding me just as much as I avoid her.
shinu
It's not about succeeding or failing. It's about the effort behind it.
john_felix
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