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Online relationships?

natchanhime
My friend is in an online relationship, and I'm not too sure about those. I myself has ever met some guys online that I skyped and stuff... And really liked, but he rejected me because of the distance and said that if we were irl he really would want to date, because quote, "I really do like you." Putting that aside, what're your thoughts on online relationships? Any experiences?
penna
Dec 09, 15 at 11:45pm
Long distance relationships are difficult. More often than not, they don't really work out and yes, the distance is a factor in this. But there are also things to consider like how people act differently in real life than online. So if you suddenly meet them, they turn out to be different than you thought. It's not that I'm personally against them. It depends on the person! But I think people should REALLY get to know one another, especially online, before considering to date them. It should be taken seriously still and it isn't good to rush into things~
neet_one
Dec 10, 15 at 2:55am
Penna summed it up pretty well. It's not impossible for them to work out, but it is unlikely. Unless at least one of the people involved is willing to move to be with the other then the relationship is already dead and they're just prolonging the inevitable. Yes people can often act very different online compared to offline, but that's why it'd be good to visit each other occasionally and spent some time together. Ideally meeting in a public place for the first few time, just to be safe. Most of the time people just get tired of not having physical contact and/or find someone closer by. I don't think it's right to say 'irl' as you're still dealing with real living people, but that can be easy to forget for many which is why a lot of people don't take online relationships seriously. Personally I have no real attachment to this town and have no interest in the type of people in the area, so distance would actually make more sense. However these days people have wised up to how horrible online relationships can be and tend to avoid them.
xypho
Dec 10, 15 at 3:25am
This account has been suspended.
neet_one
Dec 10, 15 at 3:37am
I think saying '11yo' as opposed to 'eleven year old' is for kids.
xypho
Dec 10, 15 at 3:52am
This account has been suspended.
roy_duarte
just saying something my last relatioship was from real to long since she had to move and we went on like that 2 year so i say you can do it it just on how much you like that person
rainx
Dec 10, 15 at 9:14am
I think it can in the long run, but you have to have two really committed people and some sort of plan in place sooner than later to eventually move to where each other live. The ability for both parties to go visit the other in the interim at least a handful of times per year is pretty important too. Also, depending where you are in life also plays a pretty big roll. If you are still in high school or college and still have a few more years of school to go, it's not something I would really recommend. Younger people just tend not to have the patience needed to commit to that sort of relationship. So when one person or the other gets bored, too lonely, or they actually do find someone else irl, they're quick to move on and either ignore or break up with their LDR partner. My rule of thumb when it comes to distance. If I have to start thinking about taking a plane to realistically go and visit someone, it's probably to far for it to work out in the long run.
saberwing
Dec 10, 15 at 11:47am
Well I wouldn't say that they are not possible. But they require a ton of commitment from both sides. Which is a rare thing even in normal relationships these days. That's why LDR's usually don't work out. Because people are just not willing to put effort into anything, and want to have everything right off the bat without doing anything for it. Relationships are not like your local fast food, where you grab your lunch every Friday. They take time to build and grow. Especially when there's distance. You need to talk to each other as much as your schedule allows you, so you get to know the other person in order to avoid any stupid surprises when you eventually meet irl. Helps you decide if you really like them too. Next thing is trust. Yeah....that's probably the most difficult part. Your special someone might tell you how much they love you, miss you yadda yadda yadda you get the picture. However for all you know he/she might be going for a date with somebody else right after hanging up your Skype call. The person lives bazillion miles away so you'll never know, and it always sucks when you've been refraining yourself from dating anyone for 3 years because of them, only to find out your "dear" didn't give two damns, and you were just some accessory to kill time. So yeah...if you're constantly paranoid about your partner, and couldn't bring yourself to trust them, it's just gonna fall apart eventually. Unless both of you are really serious about this, don't even bother. It will only drive you crazy, and can be really bad for both your mental and physical health. LDR's work out only for the most strong willed and loyal. What I'm trying to say is that it's always possible if you really put your mind into it. No matter what happens you two will always find a way. When it doesn't work out, it only means you didn't care enough. That being said. Good luck if you're going to try it, but be very careful. You'll be playing a high gain high risk game. It's definitely worth it, but it comes with a very heavy price that not everyone can handle.
verucassault
How much does the person mean to you? Is there anyone else like them that you know? Do you find yourself wondering how great it would be if you two could be together if it just wasn't for the distance? This is usually how people end up in them. I think Luna described the situation best. You have to sacrifice and put a lot of time in them, you have to have a great deal of trust between you. These are a lot of the cons but I can speak for a few of the pros. There really is no one worth dating where I live. When I do start talking to someone and it seems to be headed in that direction, I am amazed at how much we have in common, how much fun we have, etc, etc. Usually there really is NO ONE LIKE THEM I KNOW. Now what Cecil said as well comes into play. At some point one of you has to be willing to move if you want to make it LONG TERM. This is what ended the couple of LDR I have had in the past. Things just didn't work out. It could be a money situation, it could be family. In the end either one or both of you will start resenting each other. So, yeah, it's a gamble. The break ups are bad because you remember that hey, there isn't anyone like them around here, guess I'll stay single and alone.. or get a cat, yeah, get another cat.
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