Reflections on a Forum

What the title says really. This was originally inspired by A Mask to Behold, so I thought I'd add it. Feel free to leave your own thoughts in a similar medium. 11pm, 12am, 1am… “Rocks fall, everyone dies.” “Close but no cigar. I’m going to bed now night!” “Good night my dear, sleep well.” “You too miss ^^” And he’s gone. It was a good long talk. One of a few, but the last to end. We seemed to talk about everything; university, travel, anime, TV shows, music, our likes and dislikes; I suppose it’s the stuff you usually start off with. I liked talking to him. We had shared interests, he was nice to talk to, and he replied. I wonder if we’ll speak again. That’s the idea, right? It’s my first forum; I’m so not good at this. What’s the etiquette? What are these people expecting? They add me, and I accept. Why not? We’re all strangers, right? If no one added and no one accepted it would be a poor foundation for a social network. What am I expecting from them? I have no idea. Some company? Someone I can connect with and relate to? Maybe it’s as simple as just breaking the monotony of everyday life. Who knows? Not me. My parents would probably say it’s strange to share so much with a person you’ve never met, and I have to agree; it is strange, but not bad. It’s strange how comfortable you can be talking to an enigma. All you have to go by is a country, name and age. The name is fake from the start, and usually the pictures are too. People can build whole personas around a picture, create a whole identity, never showing their true face. That goes both ways, but I guess I don’t feel the need for it. Even if you talk as yourself, how do they know? And even if the personas are fake, does it really do any harm? The majority are overseas, so it’s unlikely we’ll ever meet. Maybe the risk of a lack of honesty would make some people feel more uncomfortable. You could be sharing your deepest thoughts and secrets with anyone. Is that a problem? Not really. They only know what you choose to share, so if you’re worried then don’t share so much; it’s simple enough. It does no harm really; after all the picture and name are fake, so how will they ever know? They’re as in the dark about you as you are about them. I guess that’s the comfort. Anonymity for the win. I guess being yourself carries its own weight though. What if these people don’t like me? Well, not everyone can like you; it’s the same IRL in that regard. Theoretically it should matter less about being liked on a forum; at least you don’t have to work with these people or see them on a daily basis; that lessens the awkwardness. But what if they only talk to be polite? How do you know when someone actually likes you, and when they just think it would be rude to let the conversation die? It’s a tough call without body language and physical interaction to go by. If that’s the case, then every conversation you have going could just be a string of people too polite to stop talking. How can you tell? I guess you can’t. Maybe if I don’t start the conversation up again the next day then I’ll know if they like me. Maybe, but maybe they’ll think you were the one just talking to be polite; then they’ll be in the same boat as you. They might not talk simply because you haven’t spoken to them. Two people who enjoy each other’s company could easily never communicate again over a misunderstanding like that. Best keep the conversation going then. Keep it going until there’s nothing left to talk about? Theoretically there should always be something to talk about, right? Well, there’s only so many times you can say ‘What are you up to?’ and ‘How are you?’ before it becomes routine. Talking due to habit rather than genuine curiosity. What do you do when there’s no curiosity left? Lapse into silence? What if they lapse into silence because they don’t like me? A vicious circle indeed.

Not so much the people, just the general idea of a forum. Honestly, I like almost all of the people I've spoken to on here. This is my first forum lol

It's kind of interesting in a way. I always though of forums on the internet and such where places where you could avoid having to think about all that stuff. I know it may sound weird, but my internet persona is probably more 'real' (authentic?) than my real life persona.

Well, not everyone on the internet has a specific persona, or pretends to be someone they're not. I find anonymity gives you more freedom to be who you want to be. I guess I worry about that stuff full stop ^ ^;

If a subject dies i usually change it and go on ranting about this or that. Usually its movies, music or games. Ive already explained the name im using, i end up telling my friends my real name and sometimes send a request on facebook. My pictures are mostly my favorite characters from anime or video games but the two pics of the hairy guy are me. Though i did shave my beard since then. I do agree with most of this but i still want to make friends and connect with people even meet that special somwone. The area i live in kind of sucks so its nice to relax and talk about stuff i like with other people. Good way to break the ice. Ive been here since... september was it? I made a deadline for myself to find someone by christmas but that ended up being a plan for disaster. Ive been single pretty much all my life and really thats sort of my fault. Not for being a loser or anything (ive learned that over time) but for being impatient, expecting too much too fast and i just ended up scaring people off. I consider myself a nice person but my heart gets carried away and i start flirting like crazy, especially if the girl is cute and we have alot in common. Most of the people i get along with here arent even near where i live so distance isnt a problem for me and i dont let it hold me back from talking to people. It seems to be my rotten luck that girls who live close by end up being really... whats the word, rough? Thats a nice way to put it. not saying they arent pretty, just really mean. I dont want to say i was sheltered by my mother growing up but i was raised to be polite towards others. Finding someone nice was hard before coming to this site. There were girls on facebook who would stop talking to me online and have a boyfriend soon after, usually lauhing at me at the mall or something arm n arm just to rub it in. Then again alot of them openly admitted to being mean people so its not really a suprise, im just desperate to find somebody hoping to see the good in them. As i said ive met tons of nice people here. Sure some trolls got to me, just means i have to be more careful. I wont stop being nice though, or flirty for that matter. Its who i am.

This is Interesting. Something to think about. I can say I'm rather drawn to the "Online Persona" aspect of the post. I have to agree with pretty much every point you made about it. It's easy to succumb into a online personality which exaggerates your own, the temptation to live another life if you will, as a form of escapism (I presume this why we have trolls). That being said having a "persona" Isn't just on Forums, they happen in Various other social media sites, games and even in real life scenarios. I can act totally different from when I'm at school, with my family, with my friends (and even the group of friends I'm with). I'm not sure how to add to this, so I'll tell my experience with an Online persona. long story short. I wanted to Project a "Perfect me" and live that life a little, I figured it would help with my GID and Gender Dysphoria. after awhile I started to feel "empty" and I couldn't help but feel guilty, I wasn't talking to people as me. They were getting Invested in someone else who wasn't me. So of course I set things straight, people left. blocked me. Unfriend me. Perhaps I was deserving of it. But out of 30+ "friends" I once had only two stayed. They accepted me, humbled me and taught it was okay to be myself, it was a lovely feeling and to this day I'm friends with them over various social networking sites and continue to talk to them almost everyday! I know it's besides the point, but I truly love them^^ It would be horribly disrespectful to them if I put on persona again. I guess personas usually come about depending on you motivations. If your intention is to flirt you'll put on a "cool" persona. If your intention is to joke around and have a laugh you'll put on "goofy" persona. If your intention is to peerintofuturetoseeandfindoutwhatyourmissinginhopesoffindingmentalandsocialstabilityinyourlife you'll set your gender as female lol. Obviously you can find better examples of what I mean but it's six in the morning what do you want form me? As for the picture thing, I'm sure it's due to a lack of confidence in one's appearance I assume, or they like showing off their art. I don't really have an up to date picture of me, the last I have is from what? like 2008-09. I can barley look in the mirror anymore never mind getting a picture of myself I'm happy with. Curse my good looks! Oh, just in case. Don't worry Chi, I like you! Well now this has been rather strange window into my past now hasn't it. Yeash!