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Codependence or coindependence?

nipplord
This account has been suspended.
jacob1
I got this. I have no clue. so few choice on the subject. The two choice give cover to broad of a rage on the subject mater, but it does not go far enough out there, since there are so many more then relationship types. So I'm guessing I'm neither of them. I choice D: none of the above.
renix4
I would go with codependency. I am usually much happier when in a codependent relationship as my emotional needs tend to extend into my interests, interactions and concerns everywhere else in life. while in a coindependant relationship i end up growing increasingly lonely as i feel a greater lack of a certain kind of intimacy only someone who understands or shares those interests, experiences or knows first hand the things i went through due to being included themselves. Eventually that could lead to breaking up or emotional cheating. Some coindependant relationships may work well if neither experience that need.. but to me without sharing those things there is no point in a relationship at all. unless maybe the person is just that super awesome In some special way that makes up for that lack of needs being met
__removed_uguubox
Coindenpendence doesn't mean keeping things from partners and not sharing important aspects of your life. It means remaining your own person despite your relationship with someone else. It means wanting them not needing them.
__removed_uguubox
Personally, I would never want to date someone who NEEDED me. I don't mean they need me at important times that's different, i just mean that need me to be sane.
darkschneider
Healthy relationships have a balance. There is your time, my time, and our time. If your happiness is entirely reliant on or indifferent towards your partner things will not go smoothly. Do not seek a partner to complete/validate yourself but instead be complimentary to one another. Come together from a place of self-wholeness and become greater together by sharing yourselves. @OP - I do not know where you got those definitions but I think they were thinking of something else. Codependent relationships are not a good thing by its clinical definition. To quote the shrinks... "A codependent relationship is an unhealthy relationship. When someone is “being codependent,” they’re either excessively controlling or compliant in a relationship; don’t practice self-care or have much self-respect; and enable their partner to engage in self-destructive behavior, according to Chris Kingman, LCSW, a psychotherapist in the Flatiron District in New York City. Some people believe the emotional pain in these kinds of relationships is simply a reflection of their love for each other, he said. However, “healthy love doesn’t cause pain; it heals pain.” Another common myth about codependent relationships is that partners enable each other’s self-destructive ways out of “love and altruism.” However, Kingman clarified, they really enable each other because that’s “how they’ve learned to feel wanted, and to avoid dealing with their own insecurity and self-esteem issues.”"
xueli
Aug 12, 15 at 11:07am
I think, if I remember it right, that co-dependent relationships was actually a concept that came from AA about how the people around an addict can be their enablers.
darkschneider
co-dependency can surround any destructive behavior including abuse. I have heard it also referred to people that are clingy and needy and often get into relationships just to be in one to the others misery. They can't function independently; dependent on another...co-dependent. Partners do depend on one another but are not exactly dependent.
rainx
Aug 13, 15 at 8:55pm
Honestly, I think I'm a mix of both although would probably lean a little more co-independent. I love spending time with my significant other, but I'm also a big proponent of guy/girls night out once in awhile where you go do things with other friends.
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