o l i

sadness is a great inspiration if you have enough of it. which i do.

is it sad that i slept under my desk last night to see if i could maybe get inspiration. i dream about my cat being locked outside and a russian dog protecting it from predators that lurked in the forest.

oh yeah i got my act test results back. i literally failed every single topic lmao. i cant stand all these damn failures im having consecutively its really starting to piss me off and make me even more depressed then i already am. im lowkey on the edge of buying a rope and putting it in my closet for future use.

im so excited for net neutrality to see its end. of course that was heavy sarcasm.

a drawingim drawing for my sister cool the coloring is shit cuz im bad at coloring drawing is unoriginal bc i just looked an image and drew it off there. colors are original tho.

am i really happy with myself am i really happy with my drawings am i really confident with my future am i really positive things will turn out the way i want them too am i really going to get an ACTUAL burst of motivation do i really need to go to art school is there really even a point theres no point if youre questioning yourself theres no point if you have no self-confidence theres no point at all i need friends to talk to. but im to shy to talk to anyone it would probably be best for me to stay a loner nobody would want to talk to someone like me im a nuisance an annoyance i wish i never moved i miss my old friends i want to go back i dont like it here im not happy here at all i want to talk with my old friends again i wanted to hang out with them more but i cant now i want to go back but i cant sorry had to get a few things off my chest not like anyone reads this stuff lol

i have gained a SUDDEN BURST OF MOTIVATION AND IDEAS AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HAVE TO DRAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

am I sleep deprived? probably. im always damn tired and shit so it would make sense.