Test

I want to start by saying that I have never told my life Story to anymore than One person at anytime. I am wondering what peoples reactions will be. Now I just want people to share their thoughts (No pity please.) On a side note I will be leaving a couple things out but some of the things you'll read will probably be very shocking so you'll understand why I neglected to post anything else. Childhood So I was born in Lansing, Mi. In the May of 1993 to be exact. My Mother was 19 at the time and my Father was 17. They weren't sure where their Relationship was at that point, and my own Father even missed my Birth, though I still haven't been told why.

I grew up in Dewitt, Mi until I was 6. When I turned 6 I remember standing in the front lobby of my 1st Grade school (Can't remember too much.) But I remember a bunch of kids giving me a yellow folder with a bunch of letters and notes in them saying they'd miss me since I was moving out of the State. After that I vaguely remember the Cross Country car trip with my Mother to Las Vegas, Nevada to track down my Father who was an Alcoholic and living with his Brother at the time. Some things happened and I apparently just blocked them out of my memory but some of them I do remember. I remember when I turned 7 getting into a fight in the outside Lounge area with some older kids who were holding me under the water and hitting me. This was one of the first times I had ever fought back before, considering from Kindergarten-Sophomore Year in Highschool I was one of the smallest people in my Class.

Now when they started even the Adults completely neglected me obviously being bullied by pretty much every other kid in the Residence. Mostly because I was small, weak, and called Albino by the other kids because I was really really white when I was a kid. The night before I had called the Cops on my Father who was hurting my Mother. I don't remember very much but I do remember calling the Police on my own Father that night. So while I was in the pool I decided I wasn't going to take anymore from them and when they pushed me I hit the bigger bully in the face so hard I broke his nose and there was blood everywhere. At this point all of the other Parents forbid anyone from coming near me, it made school harder too so my Mother split off from my Father for good a couple months after turning 7 and we moved back to Michigan. When we moved back my Mother started dating my Step Father Rob. Now I use to hate him and he wasn't a very good Parent, but now that I look back he was there for me more than my real Father ever was.

Step Father Before him any Man who would approach my Mother I would scare away by being horrible and bratty, though a lot of kids in those environments have issues like that at some point. Now I had never been grounded before so almost everytime I saw him he'd bring games over, we'd all play and have a good time, and I'd usually end up getting grounded :/ Now I can only remember one time my Step Father considered leaving my Mother. To this day I have no idea if it was because of me or something between him and my Mother. I remember her telling me to pack as much of my things, such as clothing, and I packed a bunch of stuff only for them to settle the fight and me get grounded later that night. The Groundings Now I know a lot of you will say "Doesn't every kid get grounded?" Well this is a bit different than a slap on the wrists and no Tv for a week. One thing you should know about me when I was little, was that Insects absolutely terrified me, especially Spiders. Now for more punishment he'd make me stand in a corner for a while in the basement where Spiderwebs were covering the walls. That was just one.

On my friend Kurtis Birthday I was in the livingroom waiting to get a ride to his house and my Step Father started asking me something. I don't remember what he asked or what I said but I remember him yelling at my and saying I no longer get to go to my friends because I rolled my eyes at him. When I was grounded for that I broke into tears crying. Want to know why? Because I had no idea what rolling your eyes meant, or that it was rude to people when they talked to you. (I'm leaving my Martial Arts stuff out since it's too much to cover and I'm sick of people asking about it @.@) Missouri I absolutely hated living there. That is the first thing I'll say. My Step Father took a Job offer from my Mother's Brother who had a Contracting Company and he wanted to move out of his Mom's basement and gave up his band going on Tour which could have made them big at the time but he chose Family over Dreams, which I do commend.

Now in Missouri I lived in the Hick part. Literally not even a football field away there was a small residence. Now there were a few families that lived there. There was 2 Graveyards, a Church, 3 giagantic barns, 6 houses, and a General Goods store. I hate the Country and I love the City. School? Yeah I went to school for a few years there. Want to know what happened? A lot. Honestly I absolutely hate myself for the things that happened in Missouri. When I was in Missouri same thing happened, I was small, weak, and the target of bullying. I bit my tongue so many times... Unfortunetly not enough. At one point I was indefinetly in ISS for an entire year to keep me seperated from everyone else. Why? Oh well in my Algebra Class two kids in my class decided to mark my brand new shirt, which I loved, and push me around until the Teacher got in. The Teacher arrived after they marked my shirt and pushed me around. She got there when I threw a metal container and hit one of them in the face to get them off of me and kicked the other as hard as I could in his shin. I was suspended. And to make things worse I remember I paid for a Pizza party. That day I honestly couldn't give a shit about anyone at that point. So I walked in the Class and everyone went quiet, I grabbed some Pizza, a can of Soda, and walked out the door on the side of the Classroom and ditched School and Suspension that day.

That's just one of the bigger days, I have dozens of things that happened at that school. Such as me finding a trashcan on fire in the Girls bathroom when I went for a drink of water and getting blamed for it for a while. Homelife During this time with trouble at School with Grades, Teachers Students, and countless others I was also going through being ungrounded at home just so I could be grounded later that night. I got grounded for 3 weeks because a Glass had a spot of dirt in it and my Step Father found it disgusting so I was grounded. Almost every night I cried myself to sleep. I was covered in bruises from holding myself back in fights and still ended up being the one getting suspended. My first Job My very first real Job was when I was 14. I worked at my real Fathers Office in San Francisco for 3 Months and I saved every penny of it. One night while I was there my Fathers car was broken into and they stole a bunch of things, and I thought they stole my PsP but they completely missed it, and I was so happy that it wasn't stolen.

Now when I got back to Missouri I spent my savings on a brand new Desktop (With shitty Windows Vista.) One day my Mother said I was obsessed with it, changed the password to MY Desktop that I paid for and let her use as she pleased. So when she refused to change the password back I punched a hole through the Monitor and told her if I can't use the Desktop I paid for, neither could she. She ended up buying a $50 Monitor for a $650 Desktop I bought and said since she paid for the new Monitor the Desktop was hers. Guess where that Desktop is now? It's in my Mothers room in Missouri where she is addicted to Facebook and constantly argues with me about things I talk about with friends, so I deleted her. Jenny This is something I hate myself for and always will. Again no pity, this is my life, but I absolutely can't believe that I was such a vile person for 10 seconds, and it changed my life. I was approached by a shy Ginger girl, she was really cute too. But I was very blunt and turned her down in a way that was a bit... harsh. She ended up breaking into tears and crying and that weekend the day she wanted to spend with me she spent with some other guy. Well they got into a Car Accident and I found out the following day that she had been with him and died on impact. I have had people tell me it is my fault and tell me it isn't. But the truth is I solely blame myself for this happening and if I'd have been a little nicer, and not been so blunt, maybe she'd still be alive? I don't know but I wouldn't wake up everyday remembering that.

The Mental Hospital This is one thing that my real Father and I share in common. We were both put into a Psych Ward against our own Wills despite the fact we weren't in the wrong. My Father was a special Medication when he was 16 and they told him if he'd drink any Alcohol it'd shut his Liver down and kill him. So concerned he went to his Doctor and told them he was scared that he'd forget, go out with friends, have a beer or two, and die. So they stuck him in a Mental Institution for 9 weeks. I was in the Psyche Ward in STL for 3 weeks because the night I was put there I got into a fight with my Step Father. He got drunk, started smashing things that were mine, Trophies I won and I was proud of, Artwork I drew, Posters, DvDs, and Plushes for "Little girls." Well I defended myself and we both got banged up. When the Authorities got there I took the fall because I was honestly worried for my Little Sisters well being over my own and I'd do it again. Up until now you might have though I might be a little different, not normal? But I would set my life down for my Sister without a second thought. I love her more than anyone else in the World. When I went there they put me on a very high dose of Anti-Depressants, Xanax, Sleeping Medication, and some other things they said were just "Vitamins." Well after 3 days there if they told me to clean the tables I'd wipe them spotless. I was a Zombie and actually even drooled at one point. After my first week I was almost stabbed in the neck by another patient there for just being assigned to sit next to him because "I want the F*** out of this place yo!" is what he said after I hit him when he tried to stab me in the neck with his Toothbrush Case made out of thin, but sharp plastic.

At almost two weeks of being there another kid showed up. He was there because he was "Mentally Unstable" and underage. His Parents had his Heroine in his room and when the Police raided they found it and marked him instead. I remember I was messed up on the medication and couldn't even have my own thoughts but I remember meeting him. He was calm and collected but terrified at the same time. He told me "I had nothing to do with that, my Parents sold me off. I may seem cool now but I don't know where my life will lead after they send me somewhere other than here." Those words stuck... I stopped taking the medication in secret and finally got released when my Insurance got Cancelled and my Cheap Mother came and picked me up. Marijuana Alright now there is always a lot of arguing about Pot. But as I see it, I have never "overdosed", Gone blind, Ended up in the Hospital, lost a job, or anything like that. I still smoke Pot, but it's for Chronic Headaches I get that are a sharp, ringing, and very horrible pain I get in my Skull. When it happens I just pass out. Whether it's public or home. I need it, it helps me relax, study, enjoy things more, and helped me deal with my Family at the time. I leaned a little too much on it when I first started to smoke with my friend Thomas. Now over the last 10 years, I have only one friend that I still talk to and that's Thomas. He even came up from Missouri to visit me in Michigan for 10 days. It was awesome and he'll be my Roommate soon enough.