Conversational Stuff

I have problems carrying on a conversation. Either I run out of things to talk about, or I over-think things, and end up holding stuff back. For a place like this, where someone in my area is quite rare in the first place, or even in person, rather, this makes things difficult when trying to meet people. It makes it even more difficult when trying to get to know someone enough to the point where you feel comfortable starting a relationship with them. I couldn't begin to tell you where I have problems talking, but I could use some help.

Ask about family, friends, interests, etc. I used to have some trouble finding things to talk about when getting to know people, and I'll still space on something to ask or make conversation about, but the best way you can get better at it is by being more social. Watch others who are very good conversationalists and see what they do and being out and about will give you more experiences you can talk about.

I have the problem a lot, too. It makes me seem pretty boring. But in my most recent and current relationship (by far the loveliest), I found that some people just make me want to talk. My boyfriend and I both enjoy writing, drawing, and video games, but we also have incredibly different tastes within those hobbies (I like writing fantasy/medieval stories, he likes sci-fi, I enjoy painting landscapes, he prefers drawing Cthulu-esque monsters. He likes strategy games, I like RPGs). I'm very quiet by nature, and while he has the ability to be quiet, he seems to enjoy being erratic a little bit more. I'm very girly and I like dresses, flowers, and musicals, while he's very...something else. I can't even describe it. He listens to a lot of rock, wears black, and has a septum piercing that he likes to showcase. We're VERY different. I think the point I'm trying to make is that you shouldn't be trying so hard to find someone that's so similar to you. I know this site is based on "otakus finding otakus," but if you limit yourself to just that, then yeah...you're gonna have a hard time finding more things to talk about. The trick is to actually be curious about someone. If they're just like you, then why would you want to talk to them in the first place? If they're a mystery to you, then wouldn't you want to find out more? Your natural curiosity will make you talk more, whether you realize it or not.

I have the problem a lot, too. It makes me seem pretty boring. But in my most recent and current relationship (by far the loveliest), I found that some people just make me want to talk. My boyfriend and I both enjoy writing, drawing, and video games, but we also have incredibly different tastes within those hobbies (I like writing fantasy/medieval stories, he likes sci-fi, I enjoy painting landscapes, he prefers drawing Cthulu-esque monsters. He likes strategy games, I like RPGs). I'm very quiet by nature, and while he has the ability to be quiet, he seems to enjoy being erratic a little bit more. I'm very girly and I like dresses, flowers, and musicals, while he's very...something else. I can't even describe it. He listens to a lot of rock, wears black, and has a septum piercing that he likes to showcase. We're VERY different. I think the point I'm trying to make is that you shouldn't be trying so hard to find someone that's so similar to you. I know this site is based on "otakus finding otakus," but if you limit yourself to just that, then yeah...you're gonna have a hard time finding more things to talk about. The trick is to actually be curious about someone. If they're just like you, then why would you want to talk to them in the first place? If they're a mystery to you, then wouldn't you want to find out more? Your natural curiosity will make you talk more, whether you realize it or not.