SPARTAN117

I wish i can get rid of everything I have then get far away from everyone. Far Away from my family, far away from this world far away from everything.

I wish I could just disappear. I been going to some hardship since the first of February because of the fire in my mom apartment we been homeless since. I wanted to end it all in February. As if I'm not already going through a lot I'm sick I'm tired it's already 4:00 am and I can't sleep.

I watch my anime on the web. I don't use apps or any subscription service like crunchyroll and funimation. And love watching studio Ghibli animes movies and anime movies like your name & weathering with you. Animes like that take me away far away from this world.

You never know how much of a emotional support animes had been for me. I been very depressed before the Apartment fire on the first of February I before I became homeless. I'm goings to some hardship because of that. I don't have a laptop to watch the anime I love in the library. Plus my library card is not up to date since I haven't use in decades. Anyway this month been very hard and stressful I been unemployed for one and a half years. Animes is my therapy. I been so stressed so depressed and overwhelmed this month I been thinking of ending it all since last week.

My mom and everything that been going since first of February stressed me out so bad. I almost had an stroke on Friday. I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol and I haven't been taking my meds in 3 to 6 months

I been very upset with my whole family. I always helped my family when they needed help but I been homeless since first of February because a bathroom fire. none of them wanted to help us. I'm fucking hate my family now going forward I'm going to be very cold and unkind and very selfish to everyone it all me I'm first everyone else are last I'm only going to care about myself. Me myself and I. No one else just me.

I don't need anyone I can focus on myself and use all of my time to make all the money I have always wished for and be happy with my Animes/ Mangas/ H-mangas/ H-animes/ video games and online multiplayer gaming/ music and movies/ TV shows. In two bedroom loft apartment in Kansas City, MO.

Also I have always thought women in their 20s were best women I was so wrong I don't need any women in their 20s or 30s or 40s maybe an partnership with an 55yrs or an 65yrs but I don't need any sex from them. If not whatever than I always live by myself for 42yrs and know how cook/ clean/ do laundry. An none sex partnership with a woman 55yrs plus. We can adopt two kids and have lots of pets. I love children and babies animals and plants I would love to have an huge garden in my front and back yard hell I would love have a huge ache of land. If not well I have everything I wish minus the older woman and two adopted children.

I had always thought for me to be happy I have marry a young woman and have lots kids like Mom and Dad. But I hated my mom and dad specially my dad they both failed me.