Vent

I am thinking if buying a home outside the US. Just so i can just go visit from time to time and relax. Just enjoy myself. Man i feel like im driving myself crazy. I cant stand being at home anymore. I remember that time i went to mexico and took an uber around the city. Just seeing how everything is so different. I yearn for that feeling. I just want to travel i wanna go wild do dangerous shit. I feel couped up at home. But st the same time when i do trips like this one i feel guilty. While my family suffers and are in a bad spot i feel guilty that i spend my money on myself. I feel the life i wanna live will lead me to hell. Maybe that's why i feel empty. Maybe that's why im not happy. I dont know what i can do to get there though. Im not rich, i dont have an outrageous talent, im not smart to come up with a successful business. The world is a cruel place.

when I make counts n how everything is suppose to go, but then someone comes in and ruins the numbersssssssss. Aughhhhhhhhhhhh I just wanna go home already.

@hell_hound7 If it makes you feel better at the same dinner where I found out my mother had dreams of me being a crossdresser, she informed that my uncle who lives overseas in Taiwan told her that he has no plans to return to America. The man has lived there for over 30 years and has traveled the globe from China, Japan, Tibet, Australia, France, Germany, and the UK. He served in the U.S. army for a couple years and graduated college here in the states, but he doesn't think there is anything to come back for. With the world being on fire like it is he has instructed our family to not attempt coming to visit him for both of our safeties. My uncle's health has been poor too. Though he was a track runner in college and stayed fit long into his 50's I know he's struggled with various physical health problems including a blood illness that's left him virtually disabled. It's been unsaid amongst what remains of my mother's half of the family that he will die overseas. That unfortunately none of us will get to see his funeral. I trust his wife to send us photos or a video, but that's going to be it. I attempted at one point before the pandemic to create a way to keep connected to him, but he urged me to just look after his sister and not worry about him. As I stated many times before, many of my relatives suffer with varying degrees of depression. Both him and my mother lost their eldest brother to suicide, so it's difficult to form connections. Things have always been strained between my relatives and blood relationships sour quickly. That's why my other uncle has all but removed himself completely from having any associations with my mother or I. He'll call every once in a while to check on his sister, but his children don't know much about us. Something made all the more transparent when I last visited them. One of my cousins straight up asked how we were even related and was surprised his dad had a younger sister. Life is weird. I guess you can probably relate. Either way, I wish you the best Panda-kun!

If i ever decide to pull the trigger on leaving the military. Im also going to leave the US as well. Like the US is great and i love this place with all my heart. But other places have amazing culture and things i wanna experience. The thing about the military is this looming threat over my head that if for some reason i get in trouble partying to hard thats the end of my career. Or that i really have no control over my life. I cant say fuck it imma spend the weekend in canada or hawaii. It sucks. If only i had money. If i had the money to do what i wanted i would be gone. Living my best life. Meeting women like i am now, seeing new people making new friends. Experiencing new adventures. I went to the beach at night for the first time in my life this week.

I got some subway sandwich cupons in the mail today. The subway I went to said they were not accepting coupons. Okay. I then called 5 different subways and NONE of them were accepting cupons. WHAT THE F$%# ARE THESE COUPONS FOR?!?!?

@arc I had that argument once with a Hot Topic worker one time. Both the cashier and the manager acted snobby during the entire conversation. I made it clear that it's not good business practices to hand people dozens of coupons per purchase and then make it impossible to redeem them. Like if you don't want the hassle, don't hustle the customer base. Then again I've been running into a number of local grocery chains that do the same thing. Mail you a great deal, but when I go to the store all that's in stock is conveniently not the right size or they "reserve the right to not honor it. "

@gabriel_true Exactly. I bet half the crap they peddle in the mail is worthless, especially in pandemic times.

The thing that bothers me most is when a company provides coupons that can only be used at specific times of the month, but if the store has a conflicting sale, then you're negated from using said coupon. And wouldn't you know, 9/10 times it's the day that's most inconvenient to the customer.