Rennik Sadorn

Good news: I still exist. Am 26 now. Learned some Unity stuff to make VRChat Avatars. Gaming. Not sure if this qualifies but I have decided to kill off the dating apps. Again. Again again a- Bad news: World events once again allude to nuclear-based planetary annihilation... Every other week. That and political madness planetwide with no sign of commonsense left. Unsided: In a way I feel trapped - but not, considering that I learned Unity stuff a few months back and am slowly working on that. Still. I feel lonely in being on my own in that journey, which may have an impact on progress - at least I'm presently aware that this is one of the key partitions of what impedes my progress. Put simply, I'm still moving. Pushing. Breathing. And remember... The fact that you exist and continue to exist against all odds is in and of itself a victory. Revel in it.

November came. With it, the winter chill and the unfavourable weather that entails. Opportunities to step out on impromptu meditative walks to purge my mind of these rampant, principle yearnings (to have someone to talk to of the opposite sex in person, without any barriers between you - as in, you can hug eachother tightly and it would feel good, you'd cuddle up to eachother and want to stay like that, and spend time doing things you wish you did when you both were younger). Sadly most (as in, 99% of) men (who start the convo first) online and off may not have figured that their sex craving is actually just that. There was a time I managed to meet a curvy Tinder match late yestermonth and we cuddled. She laid atop me. Was amazing experience... Until she remembered her ex and lapsed. Gave her a means of communication and benefit-of-doubt. Was blocked on means of communication not long after. That has me hoping for a push for a 'comfort person' trend, where you form a sort of familiarity with someone, and you both come to eachother in times of need or if you want to socialise but not want the expectations you've set on friends. Like, a manifestation of that 'third place' that is meme'd about. To cut it down to the small detail, my bottomline is a curvy woman to cuddle and be squished by for a bit of fun and warm wholesomeness who lives locally. I am yet to find this comfort person. They seem extensively evasive, or I am at my max level for the Introvert class. Anyway, I rebooted this because there is no harm in it and... Uh. Ah. What happened? May: went to Malta, saw what I call 'the curviest loveliest of statues' and interesting ruins - basically saw the whole island in a week. May-June: started volunteering. Now: still single.