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estefan1

estefan1

27 year old Male
Last online 1 day ago
Bakersfield , CA
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estefan1
Jul 11, 22 at 4:59pm
How's your day so far
sun_die
Jul 11, 22 at 1:06pm
Pic
Heyy guys, I'm back on here and I want friends
lewtai
lewtai @lewtai ☺️✌️
estefan1
Jul 08, 22 at 10:25am
That's messed up what happened to you. I have to agree with auction. Your life is precious, you only have one. If you need anyone to talk to I'll try my best to be on here
sun_die
Nov 04, 21 at 5:03pm
I tried to hide this for a long time cause I never had someone to talk with and I always feel like it doesn't matter. Like everything that happend to me is equal with zero. My best friend of 14 years raped me last year, for about one month and a little few days. It's the worst to think that even someone that you knew all your life could do something to kill your soul. I've been in a dark place all my life, my parents were never here for me they were always bussy with work, traveling or making fun of me, my grandparents raised me, my grandpa died in 2019 so my heart breaks even thinking about this. In 2016 when I didn't even had 11 years, a guy started to threaten me with some photos of myself (I was dumb, I have to admit that, but I was only 10 years old...he was 16...I didn't know anything about what to send or what to not send)...I started to cut myself, I even cutted my hair. I still cut myself to this day, it is lile an addiction... I want to kill myself so bad, I came close to this so many times, I almost died so many times...but I just can't do it, I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of not dying.... Last year in the summer time my best friend who was 18 at that time, keep in mind I wasn't even 16 years old, raped me for a month straight and another days...it was hell, I tried to scream, do anything, but I just became like a fucking doll, I told people what happend or at least I tried and everytime the answear was "Boy will be boys" or "It isn't like that, you're lying". My little kitty Pumpkin was killed and then my heart really broke. I can't live like this. I want to die so bad and I fear that I will actually do it in the next couple of days.
auntron_
auntron_ @auntron_ Woah hang on :o! I might not be the best person for this because of the time I have to spare, but I can’t ignore this. First off, I’m so sorry for everything that’s happened to you, you deserve so much better and it really isn’t fair. That ex friend of yours (he’d better be an ex friend) is a piece of shit and should be punished to the fullest extent possible. There’s no such thing as “boys will be boys” when it comes to rape, that’s horrid and whoever said that to you makes me sick :/. I’m also so sorry about how your parents have treated you, truly it sounds like a good amount of misfortune stems from how they treated you, it isn’t right and again you deserve better. I know cutting oneself can be a way of coping with the misfortunes that you’ve been going through, and I feel for you, but self harm is never the answer. I know you know this deep down, and I know it’s hard to quit, but you can do anything you put your mind to. Please don’t attempt suicide, your writing this is evidence that you don’t want to, it’s a cry for help of which I’m trying to answer. It’s kinda dumb, but I used to tell myself this whenever I felt down, and I told my friend this when she was suicidal and it made her feel better (she had a horrible childhood, teens even worse, now she’s a mom and I’m so happy for her). I used to say (and again, it’s dumb lol) “statistically the chances of being alive are so incredibly slim, there’s the alignment of our solar system for life, the existence of the universe, the generations that preceded us making it through hardships and had they chosen to have a kid one month later or chose a different person than they did then you wouldn’t exist, all of these factors make life so precious. The chances of you being right here right now are so incredibly slim, it’s a miracle any of us even exist.” So yeah, it might not mean anything… but truly your life is priceless, too priceless to throw away. I know life hasn’t been kind to you, it sounds like a lot was taken away from you… and I’m sure it hurts more than I could possibly fathom. However, you deserve to be happy, and you deserve to have a great life. The world is so much bigger than us, what I mean by this is one shouldn’t feel trapped, because you’re not. With enough effort you can go anywhere, and leave that past behind. You have so much potential to do great things, to move others through positivity. Also, I’m sorry for your loss, growing up I’ve had rabbits, dogs, cats, turtles, ducks, and chickens. I’ve loved them all and have seen a lot of them die. Some hit by cars even, but their love hasn’t left me, and your cat’s love hasn’t left you. It’ll live on forever through you and around you. Please don’t commit suicide, you sound like a wonderful person with an amazing heart. I’m sorry I’m not that good at this (^^’), I’m not as strong and optimistic as I was last year thanks to some malicious people and fake friends, but I’ve been able to rebuild myself thanks to good friends and family. Still, even if it’s a jumbled mess of a message, I just want you to know that your voice is heard, I care about what happens to you, and I care about what has happened. I mean it, I care about you.
auntron_
auntron_ @auntron_ If you ever need someone to talk to I’ll do the best I can to be there for you, only if you want to of course.