kurokame

Is it stupid to go against nature? I find myself asking this question all the time. Why is it so difficult for me to do certain things. All things in moderation, is it just greed or is it a possiblity. Or Am I just beggiing for divine or karamatic back lash. I act unselfishly it bites me in the ass, I try to be friendly and I aleinate myself from others, I run to catch up only to fall on my face, why, how is this fare? Some say it is better to have loved and lost,and I cant help but question was it even worth the effort, trying your damdest just to lose. where's the equivalentcy where is the fairness