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Thoughts on having children one day?

saita
Not sure if a thread like this exists or not. But if it does, then no one has posted in it since 2013 But as the title says. What are your thoughts on having children one day? Let's hear them! I've personally always wanted to start a family. Obviously not now, but when i'm ready one day. And finding the right person to start a family with can't be taken lightly... ._.
metaljester
This really depends on certain factors im interested in it once im able to say that I have a good enough income to take care of me and the kid or kids. Although I would plan on having them later then sooner. I feel that having kids is something that must be taken with the utmost care to ensure that you are able to properly take care of them.
yudodat
This account has been suspended.
metaljester
This really goes down to whats more important to you having kids or being able to experience happiness with somebody that you truly love. Just weigh the possibilities and see which is more important to you.
saita
Apr 08, 14 at 1:42am
@metaljester I can understand where you're coming from entirely. But i'd personally be more worried about finding someone normal to have a kid with, over the financial issue. (Lol) @yudodat I can somewhat relate, I am friends with one of my previous ex girlfriends still, (We broke up years ago due to drama from a 3rd party but that's unimportant) For the last few years we have always thought about getting back together, we do "love" each other, and the truth is, the relationship would work. She has no desire to ever have children one day though. (I don't think she's capable of having children either, but that's beside the point) I've always been conflicted on whether or not we should get together, despite the fact that she doesn't want children, in fact, she doesn't even like children. She's been waiting on me to say yes for a long time now, and I keep ending up with losers in the meantime. Things WOULD work with her, despite this. So healthy relationship, without children, or search for a healthy relationship, with children, which might backfire? Life can be such a pain sometimes. Lol.
saita
Apr 08, 14 at 1:44am
Ah, I see metaljester commented again while I was writing my last post. I guess that also relates to my last post just as much as it does to yudodat Lol.
metaljester
@Shinyumi Yeah definitely look for somebody normal in the sense that they are stable mentally speaking as well besides just the financial issues. Another thing to consider is if you feel that relationship will last too many times have relationships broke apart and the kids had to deal with the drama and pain that comes with it. I also see the confliction you have I once was in a relationship where a girl wanted me to get her to have kids. She was so caught up on it as well. I could see that she was not stable though in the matter and simply wanted it. So I chose not too and she ended the relationship right away since I wanted to wait.
toe
Apr 08, 14 at 1:53am
My biggest problem with having children comes from the fact that I don't really like how a lot of people handle it and a lot of parents are rather unfit for parenthood. For example, people applaud parents for outrageous parental teachings such as forcing kids into playing sports for the sake of a scholarship (which the kid may not even want to go to college in the future) or grounding kids for doing something bad instead of just talking to them about why what they did shouldn't be done (biggest example is kids watching porn and parents just grounding them rather than discussing it with them about how they're watching is fantasy and etc.). I don't mind having a child but if I did I'd much rather adopt than have one of my own because there are so many kids out there who deserve to be given a chance at a better life and to me I find it selfish to ignore that and have my own child just for the sake of it. So, if I did something like adoption I might just rather do a foster family sort of thing to provide kids who could use help and support in their life.
saita
Apr 08, 14 at 1:55am
@metaljester Oh trust me, that's number one on my list of things to consider. I wouldn't want my children to be put through breakups/divorce. Yeah, I had an ex similar to what you just mentioned. Best to stay away from those types.
metaljester
@toe Yeah I agree on that matter alot of parents are used to using that kind of punishment and discipline which in my opinion simply does not help the situation you are not giving them valuable advice your just punishing their actions in hope that they will learn via punishment whats wrong. This is just a easy way for the parents to teach them without actually having to set and lecture.
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